Q: My girlfriend is not confidant enough to wear lingerie. How can I let her know that she is beautiful and I would love to see her in it?

Answer:

First off, you if you haven’t told her you think she is beautiful- you need to. From what I gather, you have probably told her she was beautiful until you were blue in the face. Confidence needs to come from her. You cannot really do anything to make her confidant- she needs to find that in herself.  The only thing you can really do is re-enforce to her that you are with her for her whole package- not just one thing. Refrain from saying

 “I am not with you because of your looks” because she will translate that into “I know you’re not beautiful, but I love your personality”. I know that is not what you mean, but there is a good chance she will twist it around. 

Instead of making it blatantly obvious that you are trying to boost her self-esteem, catch her at random times when you think- man, I am so lucky to have you moments- and tell her. The best way to build up a better sex life is to have a solid, open relationship where you are both comfortable, trusting and confidant in one another. She will open up when she is ready- don’t push it. When you think the time is right, get her a piece of lingerie. Try putting it in her closest wrapped up nice with a card that says “ready when you are”. Do not mention it- let her bring it up. Maybe she might just put it on without even saying anything and surprise you!